Annapurna Purgatory: A Satirical Essay
The Approach to Gurung Hill with The Dhaulagiri and Annapurna Ranges in the Background
My experience trekking was one I would not recommend. One of the only good things was the food. It was all freshly made by the people that owned the tea houses. We ate the same thing almost every night, which was Dhal Bhat and MoMos. Momos are basically steamed dumplings, and Dhal Bhat is a combination of lentil soup, white rice, vegetable curry, saag, and different types of pickled vegetables all on one plate. Usually when camping or backpacking my favorite part is sleeping, but thanks to altitude sickness, the stray dogs who loved to bark at the air, and pillows that could be compared to a sack of frozen butter, the sleep, at least for me, was scarce.
A Popcorn Snack at the Tikhedhunga Tea House
If what you are looking for in a trail, as far as wildlife goes, is massive intimidating water buffalo who produce the biggest turds you will ever see, donkeys who will try to murder you any chance they get and poop non-stop, the occasional bird or even caterpillar conga line, you will be the happiest human alive. If that is not the case, you will be utterly disappointed. The only animals I can say I enjoyed seeing were the langur monkeys and Rhesus monkeys. Even though they are more common, the Rhesus monkeys were my favorite. I named the ones we saw Harbor, Helen, Henery, and Hannah. Even though some stray dogs were adorable, do not be confused. The stray dogs are savage beasts and their type of torture is slowly sleep-depriving people, which made some people in our party wake up on the wrong side of the bed and stay there (Joey). Although the views were amazing, I describe the feeling of getting there as stubbing your toe while doing squats at the beach in 115 degrees, and the aftermath has left me barely able to move.
Coming Down is Always Less Fun When You Know You Have to Go Back up
We were hiking in the Annapurna mountains which is a section of the Himalayan mountains. The views were beautiful, but one thing that left me questioning others' eyesight was the fishtail mountain. It looked more like a pair of flip flops side by side on top of a mountain covered in snow and, if I would have named it, it would be called cold flip flops. I did find a small sense of joy in painting my hand with the nectar of the rhododendron flowers; however, we later found out it was basically poison to some degree, and then that also killed that small spark of joy, which is just another way this trail ruined my day. If this sounds appealing, I deeply judge you, and I do not judge quietly. But, whatever floats your boat, even though it sinks mine. I hope this truthful article, which is hard to find these days, has helped you rearrange your plans.
